Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
