He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
