I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
