she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
