So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
