Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
