My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he fucked my hip out of place.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
