just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
