Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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