so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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