You can't special order awesome
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
