Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Two words: nipple clamps
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