you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
