Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
