So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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