Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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