so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
