the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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