I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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