can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
