there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
