Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Be still, my beating vagina.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
