He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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