we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
