he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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