She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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