google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
