fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
