he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
