i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
