Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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