at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
