If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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