didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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