Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
