Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
