weddingsv make me drug and hornr
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
