You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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