So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
