is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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