dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
