Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
