Fuck appropriateness.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
