Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
