69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
