drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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