Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
