Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
