My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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