Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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