So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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