the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's official drugs can't kill me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
